Basketball party

          In an effort to support the coach of the Blazers basketball team, we offered to host a end of the season party to celebrate the team coming together and working as a team when facing giants. Really, it was amazing to sit on the sideline and watch 2nd and 3rd graders be refined as silver while playing a game of basketball. I was so proud of each child on the team for giving their personal best in the final game.
     Why is it that 2nd isn't valued as highly as it ought to be? We have become a society set on competition rather than being the best we can whether we come in 2nd or 13th or whatever. Isn't character more important than being first? Well, that is what this party was about trying to have kids see the value of being refined as silver because one day they will be in first place. The problem with first place is that the wolves want to take you down when you get there and you have to be prepared to know you will never make everyone happy so you have to have the wisdom to balance making yourself happy while at the same time serving others. Because that is why we are here- to serve others and glorify the Lord in the process.
     The evening came to a culmination with one parent and child lingering,  we were happy for the fellowship. That is until I was a dope. The great thing is I believe I have the best kids in the world, understanding that their mom has never parented before them and that being part of an adoptive family differs from all the families who are formed via biology only.
      So, we are having a conversation and the little boy, let's call him X. X seems suprised that my daughter is adopted, despite the fact I am pasty white and my children are boldly black. There was an assumption that possibly my children were mine from a previous relationship. I love when folks are so open minded. The conversation was going along swimmingly with the usual, well why couldn't her birth parents raise her? My daughter stepped up to bat on that one. This is her story, we've gone over it again and again. She only has to share if she wants to. And she likes to share unlike her brother who will walk away from the curiosity of even his closest friends.
     X considers my daughter's response and looks at me and says, "Well, why didn't they think of that before they had a baby?"  As my brain is processing this question as quickly as possible, so I don't look stupid out of my mouth comes....because of sin. (It is carnal desires that cause folks to participate in activities that result in embreyos that continue to develop until gestation is complete. And wala, my beautiful children came into the world and I met them at the hospital. )
     X asks, "Are you catholic?"
     My daughter says, "No she is a lady pastor." as she comes up and puts a defending arm around me. (I am only a believer of the Lord Jesus who isn't afraid to talk spiritual stuff, no pastor title to my credentials)
I didn't want to explain carnal desires to an 8 year old. I also didn't go into the conversation about King David possibly being a result of carnal desires and that was why he was out in the field tending sheep rather than seeing the prophet. Or the countless other times God used various prodigy who were the result of carnal desires-Bathsheba's and David's son to accomplish his purposes. And I completely failed to say that which is most important-Because I wouldn't have my fabulous daughter or son!
Folks-we can argue til we are blue in the face the issue whether my children were predestined to be with me or if it was by chance or if the ugly lie that so many try to strap us with that we are somehow wonderful because we are parenting "them" Lord help the blind is all I can say. I used to want to punch you if you are in that category but I am aware that I have a blindside too and I believe it was evident as I tried to answer questions at a basketball party.
      I was playing in the yard with my son the other day and I had this sense that I have always known him, that he was set aside to be my son. Really folks, our finite minds may not be able to comprehend everyone's mistakes and successes and keep it all together, but isn't it absolutely amazing that we serve a God who can and does. HE knew since before the creation of the world-you and me and my children and yours. He knew how he'd bring our families together. In 5th grade HE revealed Mickhala to me. In 5th grade, HE revealed I'd live, in Ohio, despite my best arguments to say I'd never live there. Oh, now how glad I am that I went.
      I learned a few things or was simply reminded about:
1. My children love me despite my ineptness and support me til I get it.
2.  A person's past does not determine his/her future.
3.  A person's family biological, foster or adoptive does not determine the choices of the child. We all have an opportunity to impact but we cannot take credit for those choices whether good or bad.
4. Our minds are so finite, it's okay, enjoy the journey anyway!
5. I have an amazing family.