Recycling

      I've been taking this composting class and most of what I learned I already knew. But, I found out that the soil here is more alkaline than I am used to working. So, now I am able to move forward and learn how to use this to my plants growing advantage.
     Now, I am not one who is lucky on give a ways, but last night I won a vermiculture bin. I was so excited. Woo hoo! Recycling was a huge topic in last night's class. The waste management facility sent over a representative. Did you know that waste management has only been in existence since 1957 in our area? I learned some things about my State that I didn't know and some things I know that make me sad and unhappy, partly because we have become so dependant on plastic and justify it's use even though the poisons emanated to break it down are no good for us and it can never be completely recycled. So why, do we use it? It saves us $$.  I'd like to commit to getting rid of plastic but then how would I do these blogs or drink milk for that matter. Anyway, I am starting this year with riding my home of things made from other countries. Unless I purchased them from there on a visit or someone else purchased them from there on a visit. Did you know that if each American purchased just $68- worth of American made products a year 200,000 jobs would be created here in the USA.
     Now, don't get me wrong I want other countries to prosper as well. I just don't want my country to lose it's value(s) because it sources out it's work. WE cannot be everything to everyone. Doesn't America become a prostitute by trying to become everything to everyone? Her value definitely is diminished and her fortresses are weakened. As the world has more and more conflict, we send our troops (I am pro-military) to cover problems as we let more non-Christians into our country some who would like to see America extinguished. So, if our strength is sourced out, our fortresses weakened and the enemy within our territory rises up against us we only have the good Lord to depend upon. Sometimes, pulling back is necessary to protect that which our forefathers worked so hard to provide for us.
     It is like the sign I read this week that said Education is earned not given. OF course that sign used other language but to simplify it. We can test and test, even teach to the test and students will still fail if they aren't willing to earn the education because if it is worth having it is worth working toward but you cannot change the apathy of another. And God have mercy on the one who thinks they know all the mysteries of Christ or that their brand of Jesus is better than how others see Jesus and are above being taught. You can lead horses to water but you cannot force them to drink. Yes, prayer changes things I highly encourage  and participate in it. But, bottom line is if we aren't willing to allow the the good news to work in our lives first, we remain a resounding gong. Sometimes the Lord will show us something in another's life that bugs us so much we think we need to fix it but our job isn't to change the other person it is to look at our own life and see where we can make that 2 degree change and more often than not what bugged us in the other person will remain no longer because what God was trying to teach us was resolved when we took care of it in our own life. When we have successfully done that then we have the platform of weakness through which Christ's strength can be glorified. When we are weak he is strong, but he also says wisdom is to be highly prized. Wisdom is that education that can only be learned through the journey.
     Which leads me to my favorite question that my accountability partners, close friends and I have begun to discuss, "How this week was your faith tested through failure?" You see I know I am a failure, without Christ I have nothing. The best news I received this morning is that even our mistakes and sins can be recycled into something good through MY Lord's transforming power. One more reason to love and not judge!

Questions for today?

I'd love to hear what you think either on the blog or on my personal email.

When evaluating yourself spiritually, do you rely on being religious or on being loved by God? How does being loved by God manifest itself in your day to day life?

     God's will......this morning I have this understanding that God's will requires I break things down and work very slowly with Huggie Bear again. Huggie Bear for those of you who may not know is our 2 year old yellow labrador. I should have known something was brewing as the past few weeks, I've been thinking if only I could find him a home with a 20 something year old who likes to run everyday and loves dogs. Prior to the past few weeks, Huggie and I have been doing very well. In fact, I'd been taking him out without a gentle leader and my mistake was thinking after 6 months of peace that he finally has this 'being a social dog' down. But, once again the beast within him has risen to the top and his anti-social behavior would have had him throttle a new dog in the neighborhood had I not been able to subdue him. He is back to wolfing his food down. My least favorite part of spring, it brings out the beast in my dog.
     So, our future looks like Huggie doesn't get to eat unless he has performed. A suggestion from my dog trainer friend, Yvonne. This again a suggestion she made a year and a half ago, that I am only trying in the near future. 
 I have to provide a higher degree of structure in my own life in order to help our dog. I am confllicted because I can get up and walk him at 4 am but this doesn't give him an opportunity to learn how to be social. Noone else is up walking their dog at 4 am. Later in the morning, he could hurt one of the kids when he gets crazy. And we did this before, it was just too much stress on me with two kids and a crazy dog.  If I wait until afternoon, I should be able to take him with the possibility of running across another dog as the spring comes. I could reorganize my schedule so that he gets walked everyday but one at 1pm. I feel bad that he will have to wait to eat. Seriously, if he eats breakfast he will completely ignore me if I ask him to leave the animal across the street alone. Maybe a starving dog will pay better attention. I feel like a drill seargent just thinking about it.
     Anyway, if I look too much at the road ahead of Huggie and myself, it feels like a huge, huge burden. What I need to do is keep my eyes on the Lord and remind myself of all the places he's brought us through this far. The Lord will see us through no matter how long it takes this I know. I also know he is faithful, even and especially when I have trouble believing I don't have the strength to make it through this or that part of the journey.

     The school carnival was fun. Dancing cubbie won a free cake with the neatest Mardigra face decorated on top. We, I say, we because I submitted it in her name but I did the cooking. She won the best tasting chili apron for a student/teacher entry. Pretty cool!
     A friend recommended I read Eat, Pray, Love. I just so happened to return some books to the library Saturday and there it was so I picked it up. Has anyone else read it? I would love to hear what you think or thought of it.
     So, I am working on this new chapter of my life where I practice being grateful for all things in my life. I generally can come up with many things to be grateful for on a daily basis. But, now I hear the call to be grateful for the challenges in my life as grateful as I am for the good stuff. So, I've been practicing. I must be honest here and say I have issues with this because I don't want to become the pain in the rumpass who  says oh this is great when in all reality it stinks. Sometimes, life stinks(as my cousin in Afghan. can attest to next to the poop pond) sometimes it is completely unfair and for that I cannot smile and say oh isn't life grand. But, I think I can be honest and be thankful that those unfair situations will teach me things like how to love that which drives me crazy, how to wait when I feel like forging ahead, how to hold the line when I'd rather run, how to be truly attentive rather than distracted etc.  Oh and good news for all of us as my cousin reports that even though she may not like being next to the poop pond she is getting used to it. A rally cry for more tolerance............
     Now, stick with me here cause I never said I'd have all the pieces. I come just as I am and there is a lot of space between items but somehow God slowly makes sense of  these thoughts in my mind. Today, I write them. In a month, maybe a year all the sudden he puts more light on them and clarifies what he is saying and yes he says to me and to you. I truly try whenever I hear from him to apply all to my life first. Then, I have a foundation to stand on not just my man-made soap box.
     In the body of believer's there are rib issues and spine issues. A spine we can't do without. A rib can be broken or taken out and one can still survive. One can't walk without a spine, but one can have a rib removed and still make it a long way. Here is a rib issue between Protestants and Catholics-I by the way love both my Protestant and Catholic relatives and the Lord is working in the lives of each. A Protestant believes the mail should arrive on time. They would ask can you make it to dinner next Thursday? And if you are a good Protestant you'd say why of course Yes. Because a Protestant believes they are captain of their own ship.
     Whereas a Catholic is more likely to believe the mail's arrival is based on fate and cannot be guaranteed by man. And as for your invitation to dinner....How can any of us(Catholics) know whether we will be free next Thursday given that everything is in God's hands and none of us can know our fate. If you ask Ireland they think this is worth fighting over. If you ask Jesus though he'd say, "A cry for more tolerance." but it would sound more like "You are to esteem others more highly than you regard yourself." "Love thy neighbor"
Again, it doesn't matter to fret over or use as an excuse,  the small stuff is sin when the I am who is Jesus says to "Love your neighbor" Oh and that is a hard pill to swallow because for me it requires going to his feet daily and saying help me Lord help me cause without you I can love nothing and noone! If I am completely truthful sometimes, I don't like your children...the one's you call me to serve! But nonetheless I hear the call and not my will but thine O Lord.

Blessed beyond measure

Most religions have a founder who tries to teach you how to find God. Christianity is the only religion where God is trying to find YOU! PRAISE BE TO GOD! I want my Father's Blessing and that doesn't make me selfish or immature. It means that I want him, it means he has given me agape, love undeserved so that I want to love him back.

Boxes

     Years ago when I was substituting, a teacher friend suggested baving a 'bag of tricks." I took the idea and carried a box of supplies with me to have on hand if in case a lesson plan was not prepared or if I needed educational content rather than fluff. I didn't want to just be a babysitting service. I worked too hard to earn the certificate I was determined to use it. A toolbox, educational box, "bag of tricks" is great for making repairs and or teaching.
     In our humaness, we like boxes. I have boxes of toys to entertain children, another box of medication for colds and flus, others to store paint, summer and winter clothes. As Christians we have boxes too Baptist, Lutheran, Methodist, Catholic and so on.  And even more divisive, unloving, arrogant attitudes rising up from blood bought, grace taught siblings. Instead of criticizing or mocking others we are called to be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works. Behold how good and pleasant it is for brethern to dwell together in unity. Our first real steps toward unity are not toward those we naturally like. They're toward those we don't. Jesus unity only exists when those who stood sword to sword are now standing shoulder to shoulder.
     The damage sin does in our heart cannot be reparied by a toolbox of talents or resources. Jesus is the only one who can provide for this need. If we know Jesus then his Holy Spirit is repairing our hearts. Christ's wisdom, grace and power can be released into every nook and cranny in our lives. We need God every day and in every way. As Believers, we're as dependant on his grace this moment as when we first believed. Each time we come to Jesus we realize how poor we are without him. Blessed are the poor in spirit for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. To be poor in spirit is to be bankrupt totally dependent upon God at all times for all things. God's power is at work in the lives of those willing to live like this the question is will we live this way?

Precious moments with my cubbies

     A few days ago, Dancing Cubbie was playing with a some change. She noted it said "In God we Trust" on it. She says, "Wooo whoo I got in God we trust money."

     Crusin cubbie hears from us a lot "Make sure the truth is in you" So the other day at school a girl in his class was bragging and taking credit for something that she didn't do and Crusin told her  "make sure the truth is in you" This is one of those times you had to see his little body language saying it to her. At least we know he hears and understands what we are talking about. Sometimes, it is challenging to tell what 4 and 5 year old boys can repeat and what they really understand.

     This morning we had KLove on and we were in 3 different rooms but all singing the same song. As I walked out of the room, I just listened to the voices of my cubbies worshipping and drank in the moment. Dancing stopped singing to concentrate on tying her shoes.
       Crusin all the sudden exclaims, "He opened my heart."     
     Just checking I ask, "Who opened your heart?"
      Dancing interjects with the I can't believe you are asking who attitude that she gets honest from both parents, "Jesus did mom."  The best feeling in the world seeing my children trust in the Lord.
     Yesterday, for the first time in over 2 years I sat at my keyboard and played. I could play the notes.  I was pleased that if I missed the correct note that I'd learned to play through without trying to go back and fix my mistake. But I totally forgot how to go between cords I couldn't go from an F to a G and I didn't even try A,B,D. I still had the C and could go from C to F or G. So not all was lost. I played 'Love me Tender' Cruisin was playing with other instruments while I was playing so I didn't think he'd paid any attention to me. Later in the day, Dancing came in and was thrilled to see the keyboard had new energy(batteries). She got permission to play and proceeded to do so while we parents talked in another room. Cruisin comes in and states, "Mom, Dancing is trying to play music on the keyboard but you are going to have to teach her how to do it the 'right way'." I guess I musn't have sounded too rusty after all.

Crossing paths

     Last night was the first of a series of classes I am taking through the Parks and Recreation on composting. I was so happy to see my friend Yvonne teaching the course. I first met Yvonne years ago, she helped me through the process of deciding to euthanize Bosley. I really respect Yvonne because she never pressed me to think what she thought. She honored the fact I am my own person on a journey just like she is on a journey and she gave me options and  the time, as long as I needed to come to the decision that worked best for my family. It took me 6 months from the time she first spoke to me about euthanasia to come to terms with the idea. In some cases, it has to be done as heart breaking as it is/was.
      I took Huggie back to her to help get the Crazy he was first named with under control. During this period she had better control of him than I did at first. As a student under an excellent teacher I generally learn quickly. And I did learn so much. One day, she acted as though she had a better handle on my dog than me only to discover he was really crazy in social situations and just needed lots of practice. I learned to be a better handler of wild dog behavior because Yvonne was willing to share what she knew without acting like she was better than me. Some things in life are just challenging no matter who we are. Sometimes all of us think we can handle something better than someone else only to discover we don't know any better than the next guy and it will just take time and practice.  Huggie and I are on really good terms these days. I've learned to relax and a bigger lesson learned  was to make sure I am working in the right fields at the right time. Rory was right in our early conversations about adding a dog, it would have been better to wait. Then came J and she is a perfect fit for our family. Had I waited we would have life pretty easy as her exercise needs are easy to meet. Huggie is a great dog and J helps keep him exercised, but he is consistently on the list of things to take care. But for the most part he is a happy dog, a jealous, attention seeking dog but his happiness is contagious and we all enjoy having him around.
     So, Yvonne was teaching the compost class. I am so glad our paths crossed again. Yvonne is someone I'd love to hang around yet our schedules are full and our lives are full of diverse activities yet some of them overlap. She works tirelessly in the area of her two degrees. She lives considerably North of where we are located as well. So as we entered the class last night there were beverages and at that moment I don't know what I was thinking I took a cup of coffee. It was 6:30 pm. Those of you who know me well know I can't drink coffee past 10 am without having excess energy from it disturbing my ability to sleep. So, low on sleep but not really tired. I do still have some excess energy from the extra caffeine yesterday. I haven't had any yet this morning but I made a cup because for some reason I love the routine it means morning to me.  My way to say Thank you for a new day Lord.
    

Chocolate topped nut cookies

My mom's chocolate topped nut cookie recipe for sweet Emily!

1 1/2 c. flour
1tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 egg
1 cup chopped nuts
Melted chocolate or just top hot cookies with a few chocolate chips and spread as they melt
Mix all ingredients but chocolate. Drop by teaspoonfuls on greased baking sheets, with spoon make hallows in center of each cookie. Bake at 375 for 10 minutes. Drop melted chocolate by teaspoonfuls or chips into hollows. I also used melted white chocolate on the cookies I made for you. Enjoy!

Cream cheese filled cupcakes

     Papa Bear's favorite birthday treat (Recipe credit goes to Connie Stanzak from way back in the day)

Prepare your favorite choc cake recipe  (if using a box don't use a pudding cake)

Filling:
Mix:
1-8 oz package cream cheese
6oz choc chips
1/3 c. sugar
1 egg

Fill cupcake cups 1/3 of the way with cake batter, put a heaping Tbs. of cream cheese filling on top of that, cover with more cake batter. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes. ENJOY GOOD EATS!~
This year we decided we are going to try this with carrot cake and without the chocolate chips in the filling probably for Easter.

Best friends

     Today, I got a call from a neighbor who I know God has called me to serve. This is a relationship that I struggle with at times, truth be told most times. My neighbor has the potential to be one of the quickest witted, humorous, generous individuals I’ve met. She also has journeyed down a road filled with much personal pain. Pain that often traps her and zaps the strength of the Lord right out of her. Tonight, I was proud of her as she shared a story with me about her daughter writing a letter to another woman, friend, confidant that had passed. Out of the letter my neighbor said, “I want to be a better mother and I am going to do it in baby steps as the Lord directs.” I was so proud of her and told her so. Mother daughter relationships can be one of the most fulfilling relationships in life and they also can be one filled with the most pain. They are definitely worth taking baby steps to make better.
     What got to me most in the conversation though was when she said, “This could be a letter to a mother but it also could be a letter to a friend, a best friend, like you or …..and she named two of her other best friends that are her age.” Her comment got to me because as far as being a good friend I fail so often in this relationship. As dear as my neighbor is to me she isn’t someone I’d call my best friend. But interestingly enough, she considers me a best friend. And I guess this is a call to me to really look at how I treat others because if they are going to consider me a best friend I need to walk worthy of being considered a best friend at all times.

Practice, practice, practice.....

     Do you ever struggle being content on the days when God asks you to wait? I certainly have had this as an issue in my lifetime. Yesterday, I had the distinct pleasure of being reminded by an awesome God that he knew exactly where I was and met me in my practice. Waiting gives us an opportunity to develop trust. Can that be built up in preparation for times of trouble was my question? If we practice trust in the Lord during the quiet days when nothing much seems to be happening, when the storms come that practice can keep us in His peace.
     Two years ago, I met a man at my front door selling the Tribune. I wasn't interested but something about this guy and the children he was working toward supporting by his selling of the Trib let me know I was to take his offer.
      We sat in our front porch area. I had been struggling with anxiety for some time especially when I was well aware of God using me in certain situations. I would rush ahead and crash or let fear stop me from moving forward. This gentleman shared with me a story about his Aunt. Well, first he said, "Do you meditate?" In that moment my anxiety kicked in  'oh no I am not participating in some eastern ooommmming. " But it was important to listen and not anticipate! (Thank you Emmaus-Don't anticipate!)
He shared that his Aunt, the Catholic nun, had taught him years ago to recite, "Be still and know that I am God" in his peaceful times as a practice until he could call on that verse and it held him in the positions God called him to hold that would have caused him anxiety issues otherwise. 
     There are so many places I can go from here but as I shared with Barb the other day and she put it so clearly when she said, "You want the best field to work in " Yes, Lord the one that will be fruitful and for your glory!" And as Tim said, "Leadership is not a destination but a portion of the journey."
     I can share of all my failings in positions of leadership, I've been blessed to hold throughout my life from my earliest memories in first grade." When the Lord himself spoke through a wonderful woman and said, "I did not give you this power to do what you want with it, I gave it that you would use it for my purposes." It is good to recall my failings not to put myself down but to remember my position in relation to HIS. He will listen to the list of failings but the call is still a call and his response is "I make all things New!" This I know to be true...life is fragile and power misused can destroy life. So take my hand Lord and lead this Dance!

Recipe for pumpkin oatmeal

     This recipe is for those of us who should eat oatmeal everyday but can't quite bring ourselves to suffer for what is right for the health of our bodies. Really, it is an oatmeal that is yumlicious and good for you. As one friend said it's like eating a dessert rather than mushy oatmeal. I like Bob's organic whole oatmeal for this recipe the best but any old fashioned oat will do....

Pumpkin Oatmeal
1 c. old fashion oats
1 T. flax seed
2.5 T. brown sugar
1/2t cinnamon
1/4 t allspice
1/8 t nutmeg
1/2 t lemon zest (or not)
 combine above ingredients in a bowl

Whisk in a separate bowl
1/2 t vanilla
3/4 cup pumpkin puree
3/4 cup milk
if you wish 2t. butter I skip this for heart healthy reasons comeon  I am trying to do what's right for my heart here.
Combine two lists put in ramekins or small bowls able to endure the oven. Bake at 375 for 10 minutes pull out, add topping if you desire.
Topping:
1/4 cup crushed pecans
2 t butter
1T sugar
    Bake 7 minutes-cool 5 minutes top with milk and /or raisins and enjoy!