God's will......this morning I have this understanding that God's will requires I break things down and work very slowly with Huggie Bear again. Huggie Bear for those of you who may not know is our 2 year old yellow labrador. I should have known something was brewing as the past few weeks, I've been thinking if only I could find him a home with a 20 something year old who likes to run everyday and loves dogs. Prior to the past few weeks, Huggie and I have been doing very well. In fact, I'd been taking him out without a gentle leader and my mistake was thinking after 6 months of peace that he finally has this 'being a social dog' down. But, once again the beast within him has risen to the top and his anti-social behavior would have had him throttle a new dog in the neighborhood had I not been able to subdue him. He is back to wolfing his food down. My least favorite part of spring, it brings out the beast in my dog.
     So, our future looks like Huggie doesn't get to eat unless he has performed. A suggestion from my dog trainer friend, Yvonne. This again a suggestion she made a year and a half ago, that I am only trying in the near future. 
 I have to provide a higher degree of structure in my own life in order to help our dog. I am confllicted because I can get up and walk him at 4 am but this doesn't give him an opportunity to learn how to be social. Noone else is up walking their dog at 4 am. Later in the morning, he could hurt one of the kids when he gets crazy. And we did this before, it was just too much stress on me with two kids and a crazy dog.  If I wait until afternoon, I should be able to take him with the possibility of running across another dog as the spring comes. I could reorganize my schedule so that he gets walked everyday but one at 1pm. I feel bad that he will have to wait to eat. Seriously, if he eats breakfast he will completely ignore me if I ask him to leave the animal across the street alone. Maybe a starving dog will pay better attention. I feel like a drill seargent just thinking about it.
     Anyway, if I look too much at the road ahead of Huggie and myself, it feels like a huge, huge burden. What I need to do is keep my eyes on the Lord and remind myself of all the places he's brought us through this far. The Lord will see us through no matter how long it takes this I know. I also know he is faithful, even and especially when I have trouble believing I don't have the strength to make it through this or that part of the journey.